The little-known history of DDR!
by Steve96
Summary: People have had the idea of dancing and following arrows since the beginning of time so why did it take 10,000 years for people to combine the two?


also known as "Why did it take so damn long to make this game?"   
  
Please note: while some famous people may be used in this, the events are fictional and any resemblance to real events is not only a coincidence but frightening. It's scary that I actually have to say this as a disclaimer. Once you start reading, you'll understand.   
  
**8000 B.C.** - It was an innovative time for all of humanity. A gigantic monolith, made entirely of onyx, had landed on the Planet Earth, creating an interesting beat. However, the people that were around to discover this thing found the song was incredibly hard to dance to because of the volume constantly changing. However, it did introduce the concept of music to most of the world and it was a grand moment.   
  
**April 9, 3002 B.C.** - Mankind had invented a wonderful instrument called the drum. With this new advance in technology, the people no longer had to wait for big black rectangles to drop from the sky for their entertainment. The people rejoiced. However, their first creation, a song called "Pound the drum", had grown tiring after two or three days as it would take another 50 years before Mankind discovered that you did not need to bang your head against the drum to make noise.   
  
**October 8, 79 A.D. **- With the furthering advancement of cultures, especially in Roman times, the concept came to the mighty Romans of a huge arrow pointing to the sky. Rumor has it that the Romans were in the midst of drawing this gigantic arrow when Mt. Vesuvius erupted, setting back the concept of this game for centuries to come.   
  
**December 31, 1547 A.D.** - With the popularity of minstrel music on the rise, one lone man, Artemis Konamix, had developed a magnificent idea. He had his favorite minstrel, R.J. create a song for him and the people. R.J. created two songs, the more popular one was called "Shake Thine Booty", and the less popular was called "Sixteenth Century Greensleeves" to which Konamix quickly etched out three arrows in a reverse L shape to, an up, a right and a down. He dared not create a left arrow because at the time, because anything to the left was considered against the will of God. This idea was well liked by the commoners, but not by the Royalty. On this date, King Edward VI had proclaimed that the song "Shake Thine Booty" be banned as of 1548 A.D. and Artemis would be hunted down as a heretic starting in that year. Much to Artemis's surprise, the calendar had been changed also. Artemis was quite shocked to learn that he didn't have three months to go into hiding. He was captured and never heard from again, but his records went undiscovered for decades.   
  
**1612 A.D.** - With British Influence having expanded in America and Americans in the midst of a revolt, it would be no surprise that one of the first settlements, Jamestown, VA. had Artemis's document which a drunk sailor had picked up, because the reverse side had been blank and he wanted to write a reward poster on that side to catch the famous bandit Miles Konamia. He had been looting houses for two years beforehand, leaving strange looking arrows pointing up and down, which often misled authorities. Again, this led to many Puritans believing that arrows were quite evil, and the concepts were scrapped yet again.   
  
**1775 A.D. **- During the Revolutionary War, the British had put a tax on everything, from tea to cigarettes to dancing shoes, which really inflamed the Americans. Dealing with such a controversial subject, Patrick Henry said "Give me dancing or give me death." The historians had viewed this as too controversial and had a pool to determine another seven-letter word to use. Liberty was used after some of the historians had been caught playing quarters and getting drunk.   
  
**April 1861 A.D. **- Abraham Lincoln had thought about drafting an item called the "Emancipation Proclamation" which not only freed all of the slaves, but gave them a right to dance to arrows at their own free will. This concept was not well-grasped by Jefferson Davis and he had gotten enough support to start an American Civil War. Again, the concept of a dance-to-arrows game had been put on the back burner for several years. Rumor had it that part of his Gettysburg address contained the phrase "Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers came across on this great land, but they ain't never shakin' their booties like I can do!"   
  
**October 19, 1924 - **The dance known as the Charleston had taken off in popularity. An old WW1 veteran, Stephen Konamis, having visions from his days in the war and all the long hours and days in the streets of Germany, suggested an idea akin to one brought forth by Konamis, that arrows be used to guide the people. The idea was struck down as there was no arrow that could possibly describe the motion of putting your hands on your knees and moving them back and forth.   
  
**July 4, 1977 - **One lone intrepid Californian, a man by the name of Michael Konamison, had been vacationing in Virginia for a month and had found a tattered, old document that had three arrows drawn on it. His friends told him when he showed it to them, to enjoy a nice doobie and not to worry about those pesky arrows. During his stoned state, he had drawn a fourth arrow, a left one, and the four arrows appeared in an "S" pattern. His clique laughed as he held it up to a lava lamp. One of his friends laughed so hard that he spilled Zinfandel wine on the pattern and it splashed the up and down arrows, turning them all red. His friends laughed when he showed them the pattern and told him to just get rid of that stupid design. Konamison had attempted to mail the letter to himself. However, he was so stoned that his handwriting had become illegible. The only person who could read it was a half-Japanese postman in Southern California who believed the letter was written in Kanji., and the letter was instead sent to a little known company called Konami of Japan. When they got the design, and scrawled on it was the name of the last six songs that they listened to, the programmers got an idea to draft the game. With the current technology, they might have a working prototype in 3 to 4 years.  The Winter of 1977 was exceptionally cold in Japan and the parchment had turned blue that year, giving the left and right arrows a pretty blue tint that seemed to work for this would-be legend of a company.  
  
**September 30, 1979 -  **Konami of Japan had been working on this wonderful concept for over two years, and it wasn't going anywhere. A group of programmers decided to order some sushi but it was sitting around for over an hour. Unbeknownst to them, a top spy from Namco was listening in to hear their idea. When one programmer said "Paku" (eat) to the other one, the Namco guy had all they needed and thought he had the intelligence that he needed to beat Konami to the punch. A few months later, the game "Pac-man" was released and Konami had to hold off as they saw how this game was raking in the big money.   
  
**March 25, 1981 - **News of this great dance game with the "S" pattern had hit all aspects of the top tevels of the U.S. Government. During a cabinet meeting on this day, President Reagan had a dream of watching one of his favorite old time game shows, Hollywood Squares, and had developed a novel concept. Reagan immediately called Konami of Japan and told them of his novel concept, that the arrows should reside on nine plates, with the four arrows in appropriate squares (which he referred to as Milton Berle, Charles Nelson-Reilly, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin), and metal on the other five which he couldn't remember their names. The Konami representative had no idea what Reagan was talking about but immediately etched down the names and went through the TV vaults looking for the episode. Five days later he found out and drew the arrows in their current pattern.   
  
**April 21, 1985  - **After having to scrap their old "S" shaped design, it was back to Square One for Konami. Four years had disappeared and they were finally coming close to releasing a game called **_totally radical '80s dance mania_** which resembled a DDR Solo 2000 game when Atari games, having no idea what was going on, released a game called "Gauntlet". This game, while putting this dance game on the back burner yet again, had introduced a concept of multiple-player games. This was very disheartening, although giving Konami an idea to make the game with two pads, and Konami kicked the idea into a vault which the top execs promised never to open again, that promise would hold true for nearly 11 years, until a real time of crisis would ensue.  
  
**March 17, 1996  -  **After Capcom's efforts to take over the world with unoriginality (that is, Street Fighter and the 13,205,689 clones currently available), finally Konami was in dire times. They needed something that would stand out in the crowd, so they broke their pledge to never open the vault again, and got out the blueprints and started again from scratch when another devastating blow had come to them. The concept of legless dancing with an evil song called "Macarena" was spreading across most of the world, and not only would this song be awful, but the entire dance would involve people's feet never leaving the ground. Many considered this song to be the 11th plague of Egypt. However, the people of Konami were quite determined and they were unwilling to quit, and they felt they had to overcome this terrible adversity that not only would have people dancing without moving their legs, but like a song that was sung entirely in Spanish.  
  
**January 15, 1997 - **With the Macarena's popularity finally fading, Konami felt the time was right for this game, however, the name was very archaic. The hard-nosed Japanese had delved into the name ideology and had thought of several ideas. However, it was one sole person, Junichiro Konamisan who decided the name should be called **_Dance Dance Revolution_**. However, marketing this would prove to be a problem as in Japan they used a 240 volt system, whereas America uses 110 volts and Europe 220 volts. It was actually suggested that an exercise bicycle be used to make up the missing voltage.  A little known at the time man named Lance Armstrong was the only major supporter of this idea (he also was the only one who could generate enough power to work the 110 volt machine), so Konami had to go back to the drawing board.  
  
**January 1, 1998 - **Finally, Konami had their plug problem fixed and six songs ready, but when they asked the Germans about the concept, they had said "nein" which they interpreted as saying that there should be three more songs, since few Japanese people actually knew German. Within a few months, the game would finally be released and ready for the Japanese and eventually, the world's markets. Henceforth, the game known as Dance Dance Revolution would spread across the world and become the gaming phenomenon that it is today. 

Now when someone asks you about the game DDR, you know that this game took 10,000 years from the beginning of history through the modern age to make it the phenomenon that it is today. 


End file.
